The stuff they don’t tell you.
“They” of course, being the high pressure, high profile gurus of success. You know them. They show up in your inbox. They pop up on your Facebook feed. They all promise nearly instant success if you only…..
“If you only…” generally involves buying something, and that’s OK with me. I sell coaching and consulting services too. They are effective and they can work wonders, given time. My issue with them is the insistence that theirs is the only way.
And here’s my problem with that.
Half of the programs (and I’ve poked into most of them, even bought stuff to see how it all works.) focus on action. Step by step. Do this. Do that. No need to think things through, just do it. Build the momentum by actions and you’ll have what you want. Or at least what they think you want.
Half of the programs focus on the “Law of Attraction: model. Think right. Believe right. And success will come to you. It’s all on the reflection and consistent, right thinking.
Both of these have virtue. They get you somewhere. And that’s great if we all want to get to the same place. But what if you feel like your dreams are individualized? What if you don’t fit the mold of wants that each group thinks you want? What if you aren’t sure what you want? Not exactly? What if you go way down a path and discover it’s really not you?
Regular readers know I am a self-help book junkie. I have most of the best sellers in that field over the last thirty years on my shelf. I’ve taken classes, bought programs from both the momentum and reflection camps. Here’s what I have come to believe, and my years coaching has taught me.
We need both, in balance, and applied consciously.
I use this with my own clients. It might be more advantageous for me to meet with them every week, but that’s not what I do. I have some that I meet every other week. And others that I meet three times a week.
I am the same way with my consulting clients. A whirlwind of action, and then time to reflect and rethink.
Why? Because we need time to digest the action. Look at it. Ask if it fits or not. Ask if we are on the right path or not. Reflect on what the fit is, is the path still good, what can we do better, or differently. The answer to those is best done over time, thoughtfully.
You need balance. Action is good. Action overcomes our anxiety. It makes progress. Reflection makes sure our souls are in the right place, our spirit is still engaged, that the things we are doing are moving us in the right direction. Too much of either and we run risks.
Too much action and we risk careening down the wrong path, losing precious time as we back up and start over. Too much reflection and we become paralyzed. Nothing gets done.
Remember that when you are looking at a program, coach or consultant. See how they project focusing time. Do they give you plenty of both momentum and reflection? Do they understand the need for both? Are they flexible in how they apply both, to fit who you or your organization are?
Going it alone? Remember this little tidbit about balance. It will help you make the most progress, and the happiest, healthiest progress you can make,
Understanding this will help you move forward more certainly, more comfortably, and in the end, far more successfully.
Be well. Travel Wisely.
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